Our relationship at first was very stormy. It began with a hostile email. Syed Javed Qamer wrote an angry email to me about one of my articles that incensed him enough to write: “Tomorrow is Pakistan's birthday. Lady, for crying out loud, jump for joy and praise God that there is Pakistan. Many people in the world do not have a country i.e. Bosnia, Palestine etc. Lady wake up and smell the roses. You have lived in America; can you imagine anybody trashing Bush? You know what happened to a guy who asked a critical question in a White House briefing. He was kicked out and accused of being gay.”

Phew! The man’s rage was unforgiving … He was either a Musharraf fan or a fierce patriot. A few more emails later, I discovered that Javed Qamer was both. We still disagree on Musharraf. But Qamer’s most enduring quality is his undying loyalty to the country of his birth. He may be an American citizen now, but rarely does he miss the online dailies from back home.

So how does he live Eid each year, I wondered. Javed Qamer was happy to share his thoughts. But first, let’s listen to his story in his own words.

I came to America in 1972. America used to advertise in different magazines as to how desperately they needed engineers. Being a fresh engineering graduate I was able to get a green card in Pakistan.

In New York when I first arrived, I found things were not as hunky dory as magazines and newspapers would have us believe. There were no jobs. I had to survive for a year doing odd jobs. Then I moved to Virginia in 1973.

I am still in Virginia.

There were not that many Pakistanis or Pakistani stores 34 years back. So for the next six years I worked in a couple of engineering companies and started my Masters programme in George Washington University. All of my friends were Americans whom I met through tennis. I was a keen tennis player.

During those times Ramazan and Eid came and went. I was totally oblivious of their presence. There were no mosques except for the Islamic centre in Washington DC.

In 1978, my family asked me to come to Pakistan. They wanted me to get married. My wife, who had an undergraduate degree from Pakistan, had to do her undergraduate degree again since her Pakistani degree was not recognized in America. Later she went to school part time to receive her Master’s degree.

Life after marriage took a drastic turn (At least this is how I perceived it then). I had to adjust to a different way of life once I became a family man. My days of bachelorhood were over. Food needed to be put on the table. I started working for the US Navy as a structural engineer.

In 1986, I decided to set up my own engineering firm. It is doing fairly well.

I have two sons. My eldest Ramez is good in tennis. He is ranked # 6 among juniors’ tennis in the whole of America. He has wins over Andy Roddick, who is a former world #1 tennis player and Taylor Dent who is one of America’s top players.

My younger son just graduated from NYU and is doing internship in London for Deutsche Bank. He also played soccer for the college team. This year NYU team reached the NCAA final four.

I am a charter member of an organisation called OPEN (Organisation of Pakistani American Entrepreneurs). I attend quite a few functions for fund raising for different causes in Pakistan.

Eid day is a very special day in my family. The Islamic Council recently fixed a day for Eid so we don't have to guess as to which day Eid is going to fall on. Even the schools are talking about giving Eid day off as a religious holiday. Night before Eid we are invited for Chand Raat to a friend's house. There the ladies get henna put on their hands and bangles on their wrists. We wrap up the festivities by 11pm.

In the morning my family puts on shalwar kameez that my wife has ironed and we all go for Eid prayers to our local Convention Centre. Sometimes the Convention Centre is not available, then we go to a church or a hotel where adequate arrangements are made for Muslims to offer their Eid prayers.

After prayers we have to rush back to start preparing for Eid luncheon. Five or six of my wife's good friends bring one dish each to supplement what my wife has cooked. Since it's a big holiday we try to invite at least 40 or 50 families with their children.

People are pretty punctual and they start arriving by 12:30. They are all dressed in their best Eid clothes. Food is served around 2pm. Everybody is happy, fasting is over and its time to celebrate.

The feeling of contentment is contagious and it looks like one big happy family. People talking, laughing and having a good time makes one feel good.

By about 4 or 5pm, last of our guests leave and its time to clean up.

I attended an iftar/dinner recently where a 5-star hotel philanthropic group made a presentation on the charity work they were doing in Pakistan. Professor Adil Najam of Tufts University talked about the charitable work Pakistani Americans are doing. It was staggering to hear that Pakistanis donate about one billion dollars a year in charity. It includes cash donations and volunteer work. Najam has written a book on it: Portrait of a giving community.

Eid Mubarak! Pakistan Zindabad! Pakistan Paindabad!